Is My Child a Narcissist? Or Are They Just… a Child?
Is My Child a Narcissist? Or Are They Just… a Child?
Have you ever looked at your child mid-meltdown and thought, “Why does it feel like I’m arguing with a tiny dictator?”
The tantrums, the blaming, the “my way or the highway” attitude—it’s enough to make you wonder:
“Is my child a narcissist?”
Let’s take a deep breath. The answer, in most cases, is no.
But the question itself reveals something really important: a growing awareness that our kids’ emotional development matters.
And how we respond to it matters even more.
The Truth About Narcissism in Children
Here’s something most people don’t realize:
All children start life with narcissistic tendencies.
That’s not a flaw—it’s developmental.
From birth, children are egocentric. Their world literally revolves around their needs—food, comfort, safety, attention. And because their brains are still developing, they struggle with:
• Object constancy: the ability to hold multiple truths at once
• Emotional regulation: calming themselves down when triggered
• Empathy: understanding other people as separate and real
When a child screams, “You’re the worst mommy ever!” just because you said no to more screen time, what you’re seeing isn’t character—it’s a moment of overwhelm. They haven’t yet developed the emotional skills to feel frustration and still remember that they love you. That’s normal.
But here’s where it gets tricky:
If these emotional processes aren’t supported, they can get stuck.
That’s where long-term narcissistic traits can begin—not from malice, but from emotional immaturity that never had the space to grow.
What Narcissism Actually Is (And Isn’t)
Narcissism, in clinical terms, is not just being selfish or dramatic. It’s a pattern of:
• Avoiding responsibility for feelings
• Blaming others for discomfort
• Needing external validation to feel worthy
• Struggling to see or care about others’ experiences
When adults behave this way consistently, it’s often because those emotional circuits were never properly nurtured in childhood. They didn’t learn how to process shame, frustration, rejection—or how to love and be loved without performance.
That’s why the way we parent matters so much.
What Your Child Actually Needs
Your child doesn’t need perfection. They don’t need you to fix everything.
What they need is emotional coaching—a calm adult who can say:
• “It’s okay to be upset. Let’s feel it together.”
• “You’re responsible for your choices, and I’m still here.”
• “You’re not bad. You’re just learning.”
We’re not born knowing how to self-regulate, take accountability, or consider another person’s perspective. These are learned skills. And if we don’t learn them, we grow up feeling trapped in our own unprocessed feelings—and blaming the world for it.
So… Is My Child a Narcissist?
Probably not.
But they might be showing signs of emotional overwhelm, entitlement, or blame. That’s your invitation—not to panic—but to guide.
Because what helps children grow out of narcissism isn’t punishment—it’s connection.
It’s empathy. It’s modeling emotional responsibility.
And it’s reminding them, again and again:
“You matter. So do other people. And we can figure this out together.”
Need Support? We’re Here.
At Online Therapy Ontario, we support parents, families, and individuals navigating emotional growth, childhood trauma, and relational dynamics—including narcissism.
Whether you’re raising kids, healing your own inner child, or simply learning how to be the wise adult you didn’t grow up with—we’re here to help.
You’re not alone. And you’re not failing.
You’re growing. And that’s brave work.
Visit us at OnlineTherapyOntario.com to book a free consultation or explore our video library for more tools on emotional maturity, parenting, and healing.
