Male Depression: What can we learn from Terry Real?

Male Depression: What can we learn from Terry Real?

What can we learn about Male Depression from Terry Real, who wrote the first book on this topic in 1997?

Terry Real, a renowned family therapist, explores the issue of male depression in relationships in his book "I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression," arguing that men often mask their depression with behaviors like workaholism and anger, impacting their relationships and families. 

Here's a more detailed breakdown of Terry Real's perspective on male depression and its impact on relationships:

• The "Un-manliness" of Depression:

  Real argues that men often internalize the stigma of depression, viewing it as a sign of weakness or "un-manliness," leading them to suppress their feelings and avoid seeking help. 

• Masking Depression with Behaviors:

  Instead of acknowledging and addressing their depression, men may engage in behaviors that appear to be the opposite of depression, such as workaholism, excessive drinking, or aggression. These behaviors are essentially attempts to escape the pain and feelings associated with depression, but ultimately, they damage relationships and perpetuate a cycle of dysfunction. 

• Impact on Relationships:

  Real emphasizes that male depression has a profound impact on relationships, both with partners and with children. When men are struggling with depression, they may become emotionally unavailable, distant, or even abusive, leading to conflict and strained relationships. 

• The Cycle of Trauma and Abuse:

  Real highlights how male depression can be passed down through generations. Men who were raised by depressed or abusive fathers may struggle to form healthy relationships and may repeat the patterns of their upbringing, perpetuating the cycle of trauma and abuse. 

• The Path to Healing:

  Real's book offers a roadmap for men to overcome their depression and heal their relationships. He provides practical tools and strategies for men to identify their pain, address their underlying issues, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. 

• The Importance of Vulnerability:

  Real emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and emotional honesty in relationships. He encourages men to embrace their emotions, share their feelings with their partners, and seek support when needed. 

• Beyond Traditional Masculinity:

  Real challenges the traditional notion of masculinity, arguing that it often prevents men from expressing their true selves and forming meaningful connections. 

• The Role of Women:

  Real acknowledges the role of women in supporting men's healing and encourages them to understand the underlying issues that may be causing their partner's behavior. 

• Key Themes:

  Real's work often revolves around themes of connection, intimacy, and healing, emphasizing the importance of building strong, healthy relationships. 

  If you think Male Depression may impact you or someone in your life, resource yourself for change. Read Terry Real’s book, “I don’t want to talk about it”, watch his videos on YouTube and his newer books about relationships, and reach for support.

  How you feel, matters.

  What if you could feel better? What if that emptiness was passed to you generationally, can you change the patterns for the next generation and break the cycle?

  We are seeing poor mental health being played out politically and it is wreaking havoc.

  If you have been cut off from your emotions to any degree, reach for change by embracing a personal growth journey and become the emotionally mature, connected, loving person you can be.

This post was generated by AI, verified and edited by Darren, answering the question: What can we learn about Male Depression from Terry Real, who wrote the first book on this topic in 1997?